Loving

I say I love you to a strand of hair.
What madness have I come to?
My pen no longer writes.
It dies just as I do.
A slow inkless death.

What inclination do I have for my
Watery grave?
Or smoke filled.
Why do I partake of this intake
The noxious propensity.

Where have all the angels in my life gone?
All who approach me,
Are undercurrents of motive -
Submotives to be exact.

Artist collective
That aspires to...?
Change the course of
A pipeline.

How long will these words last?
Have I cheated myself again?
Am I insane?
Am I horrid and annoying?
Do I really make people happy?
Are my irks really valid?
Am I validated? Justified?
Internalized? Naturalized?
My patience with myself has
Diminished.

SPORTS.
PAINTING.
WRITING.
LOVE.
UNDERSTANDING.
READING.
KNOWLEDGE.